Right Kind of Mistake Page 3

  The first time I’d kissed Tyler I never felt like this. I never felt this bone-deep need to eat him up and taste every patch of skin on his body.

  Cam gripped my hips and pulled me closer. I ground the juncture between my thighs against his rigid hard-on. His breathing matched mine. He wanted this, every bit as much as I did. The chemistry we had was real. He ran his hand through my hair and leaned back, his eyes predatory and hungry. “Tell me this is what you want, Haylie.”

  My body clenched in longing. I had a feral need to join with him. Nothing else mattered. Damn any consequences. The musky spruce sent of him sent my hormones into overdrive. “Yes,” I gasped. “This is what I want.”

  His big hands moved from my waist to under my tank top. He momentarily stopped at my ribcage before his thumbs circled my nipples through the silk fabric of my bra. “Tell me again,” the husky sound of his voice made my toes curl.

  I groaned and said again, “This is what I want.”

  He hovered in front of me, his body lean and muscled. He took a half step back and pulled his hands away, his expression uncertain.

  Was he backing out? He couldn’t. I wanted him too badly. I gripped both his wrists. “I want you, Cam. I want this. Please.” I squeezed his hands, urging him not to move. “I want all of this.”

  He only took a split second to respond. His arms reached up under me and lifted the tank top over my head. I followed his lead and untucked his tee shirt from his jeans. I pushed the shirt up his chest. He quickly ripped the shirt over his head and we both fell onto my bed.

  I wrapped my leg around his waist. We kissed with abandon and I pressed my breasts against the hard planes of his chest. His body was strong and well formed. I might forever be attracted to the muscled physic of athletes, even if I didn’t want to be. I admonished myself for lumping Cam into an athlete category. He was more than an athlete. He was nice guy, an intense guy, a completely hot guy. I needed to stop thinking, because if I did, I might think this idea of being with him was completely crazy and back out.

  He reached for the top button of my jeans. I helped him by pulling down on the zipper and kicking off my high heels.

  “You look so hot, Haylie.” He slid my bra strap off my shoulder and followed behind with a trail of kisses. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

  I momentarily froze despite the tickling sensation racing down my arm.

  Stop thinking. I needed to quit thinking and just feel. I was determined to do something crazy for once in my life. I wasn’t going to examine all the pros and cons of doing this. Hell, I’d usually typed up a pro and con list for every big decision in my life. When I decided to come to Alaska with Tyler, I’d had a big long list and that didn’t turn out so well. All the pros had to do with my loyalty to Tyler.

  I was so done with that.

  I pushed off the twin mattress and stood with my back to Cam. I had every intention of sliding my jeans down my hips, but I stopped. Could I do this? Could I be bad for one night? Could I simply use him? Indecision gripped me.

  I swung around and eyed Cam sprawled out diagonally across my bed. His six foot two inch frame, cropped dark hair, and amber eyes held me captive. I trusted him. He wouldn’t hurt me, but I needed to focus on what this night was for – being bad, getting revenge, and stepping out of what had always been comfortable and expected of me.

  I licked my bottom lip slowly and deliberately. My jeans hit the floor almost involuntarily, then I kicked them under my bed. I wore only my black lace underwear and matching bra.

  He reached his hand out to me. “If this isn’t what you want, you just have to say.”

  Was he kidding? How could I not want him? Electric waves of intense need swirled between us like a waterfall being stopped, then started again. I pressed one knee into the bed and threw the other leg over him. I placed both hands on each side of his broad shoulders and hovered above him. “No talking.”

  “If you’re sure.” He sounded so sincere, so sweet.

  I wanted my body to speak for me. I rubbed my breasts along his chest and whispered, “I’m sure. Tonight is just about sex.”

  His eyes widened.

  I had shocked him. Good. I’d shocked myself too. I’d never let this brazen side of myself escape before. This being bad shit was kind of fun.

  I leaned back on my knees and reached behind my back to unhook my bra.

  “God, Haylie, you’re killing me,” he groaned.

  I smiled and tossed my bra aside. I felt safe with Cam. I could experiment with this side of myself. Maybe a side better left to the confines of a movie or romance novel, but not tonight. Tonight I wanted to let the bad girl in me come out to play, but I also wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a condom?”

  “Yes,” he answered.

  “Are you going to take those jeans off?” I asked shamelessly.

  He kneaded my breasts and sucked on one of my nipples. Pleasure shot through me. His breath fanned across my neck. “I am.” His voice sounded rough. “I will.”

  His hand slid from my breast to the juncture between my thighs. He fingered my damp panties and I nearly lost it. I was going to do this – have sex with a man who wasn’t my boyfriend – have sex with someone I wasn’t in a committed relationship with.

  Shivers took over my body. Waves of gratification swelled through my limbs and I swallowed a moan. “You’re making me wait?”

  “Uh-huh. I’ve waited a long time for this. I don’t want to rush things.”

  There it was again. He’d waited? I pushed aside my confusion at his confession and let myself feel the tumultuous quaking of desire unfolding inside me. I had to stop thinking so much. Thinking was overrated.

  “Tell me what you want?” He maneuvered my body onto my back. He hovered over me and his fingers moved expertly over my sex, drawing me to the edge.

  “You.” My belly clenched. “I want you. Now.”

  He moved my panties aside and pushed a finger inside me.

  My skin flushed warm and my breasts ached. “Are you going to take your jeans off?” I gasped between breaths, “or are you going to keep torturing me?”

  Light laughter rumbled from his belly. “Impatient, aren’t you?”

  He rubbed his thumb on my most sensitive spot with care, matching the friction with my breathing. I could feel my body begin to crumble. Waves of lust hit me with such force I wanted to call out, but I bit down on my lip instead.

  He kissed me, but his fingers never stopped moving, exploring, probing. He broke our kiss to lean back and watch me.

  I hadn’t expected to be hit with so much desire. This was supposed to be quick – a hurried encounter, then he’d leave, but I was feeling so much more.

  He was being so gentle, coaxing me with his butterfly touches. Heat flooded my core.

  This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

  I’d set out to use him. He was part of a calculated plan to get my revenge, all in the name of making Tyler pay, but now I’d lost all sense of reason.

  “Cam…I…” I couldn’t speak. He’d made me into a quivering puddle of need. I knew I was almost there. I’d never had an orgasm this way before. His fingers, his heat, his smell – he completely turned me inside out. The way he looked at me. I wanted to resist, I didn’t want to grind my hips against his hand, but it was too much, my body did what it wanted to do. He was too much. I lost it. I threw my head back and moaned.

  I shuddered as my orgasm crushed me with its power. My limbs quivered. Euphoria rushed over me. Every nerve ending delighted at the new experience.

  When my breathing finally started to slow, he stood up and stripped off his jeans and boxers. He was so freaking gorgeous. I almost wanted to stop, grab my sketchbook, and draw every detail of him. I’d never been particularly good at sketching nudes, but in this case I might make an exception.

  This was what I wanted. I wanted to be bad. But nothing felt bad about this. I only felt good things with Cam. Somehow I found my strength and I stripped
off my panties and threw them aside. Cam’s face had the sweetest, most arrogant smile.

  Damn him for making me putty in his hands. I felt powerless under his stare. He made me feel wanted and desired. How could there be anything bad about doing this? He took a condom from his wallet and I helped him slide it on.

  I breathed in his musky scent. My thighs parted in anticipation.

  He pressed his forehead against mine. Then he leaned down and placed a trail of kisses along my neck and shoulder. He crawled above me. I was still breathing so hard from my earth-moving orgasm, but I wanted more.

  I scraped my fingernails down his arms. I clawed at him like an animal. I was desperate for him.

  Sex had always been a big deal to me, but now everything was different. I was different. And I was determined to experience this just for the physical release of it. I didn’t have to be in a committed relationship.

  My heart thundered, and my skin still tingled from Cam’s fingers penetrating me. I was ready and wanted this. He placed his legs in between mine and pushed inside me. I swallowed a moan. He felt so good and warm. He filled me up.

  He growled, “God, I love how you feel.”

  His hips withdrew, then pushed again. The friction had me aching with want. I arched my back and raked my fingers across his back. He withdrew and pushed again and again.

  He released a low groan against my neck. “Haylie,” he whispered.

  I clung to his muscled shoulders. My body felt gloriously spent from each thrust. I didn’t love Cam, but I loved how he made me feel desired and beautiful. Pleasure slithered across every inch of my skin.

  He withdrew and tenderly pressed a kiss on my forehead. “I never in a million years thought this is how tonight would play out. When I saw you at The Loon I thought it was fate…do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you?”

  I hooked my fingers around the curve of his waist, loving the warmth of him. “No idea,” I lied. I knew there had always been an attraction between us, but I never imagined it would be this explosive.

  He was so sweet and his body did amazing, wildly crazy things to me. Too amazing. He was my “off limits” bad thing I’d always wanted, and yet he was so much more. Panic edged its way into my thoughts. I wasn’t ready for any of this. This was too intense. I couldn’t have Cam. He was a hockey player. He was everything I’d vowed to stay away from. I needed to pull out a “friend” card or something. I leaned back to peer into his eyes. We weren’t really friends, but I didn’t know what else to call us now. “But Cam…you and I are friends.”

  He eyed me with skepticism.

  I had to make him understand this was nothing more than a hook-up. There could never be anything between us. Certainly he understood that? “This was wonderful. It was so nice…better than nice, thank you, but we are only friends.”

  The words hurt to say, but I needed space to face all the emotions slamming me. I needed him to leave. I couldn’t think with him here. All the plans I’d made for myself to move on seemed like a mess. If I moved from one hockey player to another, I wasn’t moving on at all.

  He cleared his throat and placed both his hands behind his head. “Of course. We’re friends.”

  I immediately missed the contact of his hands on my body, but I worried he wanted more from me than I was willing to give. Being with him was against my rules. I wouldn’t be giving my heart to another man for a long time. A long, long, time, and especially not to a member of Tyler’s team. He couldn’t possibly think I’d want a relationship, could he? I’d spent three years with Tyler. I wasn’t going to hop over to the next guy in line. I didn’t want a boyfriend anytime soon.

  I loved this experience because it felt beautiful and safe, but there wouldn’t be anything more between Cam and I. He knew that. At least, I hoped he did. “You’re okay with that, right?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat again and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.

  I had to wonder if he really was okay with everything. I wasn’t sure I believed him. I wasn’t sure I believed myself. I said the words, but did I mean them? I never imagined being on the bad girl side of things would be so difficult.

  “When will Maya be back?” he asked.

  “Probably anytime.” I had to get him out of my room. I had to think. I needed to go over my rules and why I’d made them in the first place.

  “Well, I should be going.” He started to sit up.

  I placed my hand on his chest. “Cam.” I couldn’t hold his gaze. “Thank you for making me feel so wanted and for taking such good care of me.”

  He squeezed my hand. “I’d better get going.”

  He grabbed his jeans and boxers. I almost asked him to stay. The words were on the edge of my lips, begging to be spoken, but I couldn’t. Instead, I tucked my legs under my sheets and tried to make sense of my swirling emotions.

  He pulled on his tee shirt and boots and avoided my gaze.

  I sat up and tucked the sheet under my arm pits. “Cam, we’re okay, right?”

  “Absolutely. We’re friends. Or whatever it is you want us to be. For now.”

  I nodded, but didn’t feel totally convinced. He put on his jacket and zipped it up.

  The pleasure that had warmed every crevasse of my body changed to anxiety, but I wasn’t sure why. “Thank you, Cam.”

  He placed his hand on my door knob and paused. “You’re welcome, Haylie.”

  He opened the door and was gone.

  I shivered, but it wasn’t from the cool air in the dorm’s hallway. Cam’s voice held a crisp edge to it when he said, you’re welcome, and I didn’t like it one bit.

  I awoke early after a restless night’s sleep. I tossed and turned thinking about how Cam made my body feel and then how abruptly he left. All of this was my fault. A hook-up was supposed to be a rite of passage, being bad was supposed to feel good. Or some such bullshit.

  Maya had come home late and was fast asleep in the twin bed on the opposite side of our room. She’d certainly pepper me with questions about Cam the minute she woke up, so I needed to decide how I was going to answer her.

  Now with some sleep and the alcohol mostly out of my system, I needed to process what had happened between Cam and I. My body ached in all the right places and I couldn’t forget the way he made my body sing. Rocked my world was so cliché, but in this case it was so true. Then there was the tenderness and care he took with me, he made sure everything was as I wanted it. My insides hummed to life just thinking about his touch, his abs, his strength, his care…everything about Cam was perfect, but I got the distinct impression that he didn’t consider our night a hook-up. When I’d said we were friends, I thought the look in his eyes was unreadable, but now, I think he was hurt. I couldn’t have mistaken that.

  And yet, everything about our night together screamed booty call. We weren’t dating. We’d never dated. I never considered dating Cam, not really. If I was being honest, I might have thought about it a couple times, but I’d squashed it. He was a member of my boyfriend’s hockey team – ex-boyfriend.

  We’d given in to our mutual attraction and now we could move on. We’d never really been friends, so what were we now? He’d said he thought it was fate when he saw me¸ and how long he’d wanted me. I hadn’t had so much to drink that I made that up? At least I didn’t think so. I kept re-living the events from last night over and over in my head. I never gave him any indication we were anything more than a booty call.

  But any girl who did date Cam would be lucky. I shivered at the memories. The way he touched me, and the way my body reacted. I’m not sure that was normal. Probably just a one-time thing. It would never happen again. Nope. Never.

  But that still left me unsure of what was between Cam and I. There’s the obvious part – great sex – but what else? I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cam wanted something more from me and I simply didn’t have more to give. Tyler had sucked me dry and I wasn’t available for anyone else, anytime soon, especially for anyone a
ssociated with the hockey team.

  I needed to find a nice geeky, engineering-type boyfriend to settle down with some day. Screw hockey players and athletes in general. When Maya and Elle insisted I get out and see other people, or at least have sex with other people, I never planned on the other people being on the hockey team.

  Hockey players had women falling over themselves to hop in their beds. But wasn’t that what I’d just done? No, that wasn’t the same, I told myself. I’d only been with Tyler before Cam. I’d been devoted to Tyler. Loyal and true for three years and he had tossed it all away. Tossed me away. All for one night with a girl he didn’t even know.

  No way was I going to date another hockey player, ever again. Besides, Cam and I were just friends. I kept repeating those words in my head, but I was beginning to wonder who I was trying to convince – my brain, my heart, or my libido.

  Besides, Cam would cheat, just like Tyler did. Whenever I did decide to date again for real, I’d choose a non-sportsy person, a guy who didn’t have women throwing themselves at him all the time. I wasn’t very good at sharing. There were a few guys on the team whose girlfriends chose to look the other way rather than address their transgressions with other women, but that certainly wasn’t me.

  I couldn’t believe that I’d driven Tyler to cheat; I could only believe that the fame and attention that came with being a big name Division I hockey player went to his head. He believed he didn’t have to play by the rules anymore. He thought he’d never be sent to the penalty box.

  Yeah, right. I thought I knew him, but apparently I didn’t. He’d begged me to forgive him, but if he knew me, he knew I would never forgive him, because what he did was unforgiveable.

  I sat up in bed, grabbed my robe and slippers and headed to the bathroom, determined to banish all thoughts of my previous boyfriend. In interior Alaska college hockey players were treated like gods, or at least rock stars. Tyler could never go into a grocery store without someone from the public recognizing him and stopping him to talk hockey. This town was hockey-obsessed.